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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24616588">We Are Not Defined By Our Mistakes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuriousWandererSquared/pseuds/CuriousWandererSquared'>CuriousWandererSquared</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>After Horde Prime gets his ass kicked, Almost every charater is mentioned, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I just tagged those who actually talk, Post-Canon, catradora</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:55:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24616588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuriousWandererSquared/pseuds/CuriousWandererSquared</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I see why you would choose this room,” Catra tells Adora. Moving to close the minimal gap between them so their shoulders touch. “The view is amazing.”</p><p>“Well, uh, actually.” Adora starts, rubbing the back of her neck with her hand. “I chose this room because, it’s uhm, the only room in the castle that faces the Fright Zone.”</p><p>OR</p><p>The events after the final episode where Catra now faces the consequences and feelings with everything she's done the past few days, weeks, years and the mistakes she's made. Letting go of her past won't be easy, but now that Horde Prime is defeated she can begin to heal and that starts with finding Adora's room in the Castle of Bright Moon.</p><p>OR OR</p><p>The after the finale continuation no one asked for but I wanted to write because I'm not ready for the show to be over and I want my two girls to just TALK</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora &amp; Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Himmelslieds Collection of Catradora Goodness, She-Ra</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We Are Not Defined By Our Mistakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Author Notes:<br/>This is COMPLETELY self-indulgent because I CANNOT BELIEVE CATRADORA IS CANON and my gay heart wanted some more closure for our favorite pair</p><p>Also Melog doesn’t have a gender according to anything I could find, so I just used they/them pronouns</p><p>Noelle, thank you and I hope this does your characters justice</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If Catra thought the architecture had been weird on Krytis, it was even more bizarre here in Brightmoon.</p><p>Although this planet was home and you know—completely uninhabited except for a space alien trying to kill them—however, the kingdom spared no expense it seemed in building up the castle she was currently in. Even being here at all was surreal, especially since she at one point tried destroying it.</p><p>Catra sat on an overhang that connects the balcony from her room to the castle itself. The perch was more decoration, but the height gave Catra some sense of privacy as she overlooked the kingdom she once tried to topple. The scenery served as a good distraction from the onslaught of thoughts and memories flooding her mind. The runestone, though out of view, made its presence known through its enveloping light. The soft hue of pink trickled through the gaps in the castle towers and reflected on the towering mountains surrounding the castle. The mountains were intimidating in their stature but appeared welcoming under the night sky and soft blush of pink running along their peaks and rocky ridges. The village below highlighted the pink of the runestone and warmed the night air with village lanterns and streetlights dotting the cobblestone roads. The otherwise dark, violet sky bled into the orange and pinks of Bright Moon and from her windowsill throne, Catra could see the minimal bustle of the guards in the gardens below.</p><p>Far above the small city, the stars twinkled in the night and were rivaled only by their reflections in the giant lake that encompassed all of Bright Moon. The gentle light of the rune stone and the warm breeze that danced through the castle’s open architecture were welcoming and calm, so very different than what it had been the last few weeks.</p><p>With this amazing surrounding geography, it was no wonder the architects had built rooms in the castle to highlight them. In lieu of simple walls with windows, Bright Moon it seems decided to have no walls and instead have giant “windows” with balconies extending out. The missing walls meant more light could breach the otherwise dark rooms, the breeze could flow through the halls, and it made the castle feel apart of the Etherian scenery. The magic of the planet, especially after being released with the failsafe, danced throughout the room Catra was in. For the most part the choices of the design didn’t bother Catra, it was a nice contrast to the stiff mental barracks she’d grown up in.</p><p>However.</p><p>At the center of the room, a cascading waterfall ran from the vaulted ceiling down into a small pool that many would see as inviting. The sound of the rushing water, the splashing crescendo and smell of water could calm many souls. Catra spared a glance over her shoulder at the waterfall in her room. The <em>soothing </em>sound unfortunately did not have its intended calming effect on Catra, only causing her tail to bristle with newly acquired anxiety.</p><p>It’s not that she didn’t like water. It’s just—</p><p>
  <em>Suddenly she’s stepping into the pool again. Horde Prime is looking down at her and his clones are chanting. The green solution engulfs here, her world going dark as she struggled to breath and hold onto who she was. Awaking to the hundreds of voices in the hive mind and wishing she had gone with Glimmer.</em>
</p><p>“Mew.”</p><p>Catra’s eyes widen as she is forced from her flashback. Her breathing becoming erratic, chest heaving slightly as she remembers where she is. Looking down from her perch, she see’s the source of the soft call sitting and looking up at her curiously: Melog. Catra lets out a sigh and takes a steadying breath before speaking.</p><p>“Hey Melog, want to join me?”</p><p>The magical creature tilts its head to the side before letting out another mew and disappearing. Melog appears before Catra at her feet, the beam she’s sitting on is plenty big enough for them both, but the cat shrinks to a smaller form before moving to lay in Catra’s lap. Melog spins once, then twice before laying their head on Catra’s thigh and laying its tail across her leg below her knee. Catra runs her hand over the translucent mane of her newly acquired animal companion. Though the purple fur is soft, Melog’s mane feels silky and cool to the touch, the texture foreign and incomparable to anything here on Etheria. A small grin comes to Catra’s face when she feels a small vibration emanating from her friend and hears the telltale sign of purring.</p><p>
  <em>You will be of use to me yet.</em>
</p><p>Catra’s spine stiffens, with the intruding voice of Horde Prime her hand reacts subconsciously as it grips the back of her neck. The chip is gone, but it seems the fear and power of the former galactic villain is not. Catra relaxes her grip and leans back against the pillar her perch connects to and breaths in deeply. Melog lets out a soft whimper, sensing her distress and rubs their cheek softly against Catra’s thigh. Catra looks down at the space cat, knowing full well they know this is not a first-time occurrence. Or even the second or third time she’s heard voices.</p><p>Catra she turns her gaze back towards the nighttime scene—and away from the magical cat who can pretty much <em>read</em> her mind—as the wind ruffles her bangs. The past few hours and events run through her mind.</p><p>The rebellion had defeated Horde Prime and his army of clones. Etheria’s magic restored and the universe given the possibility to be magical once again. After the Best Friend Squad, she refuses to say that aloud, but after there little laugh fest headed back to join the rest of the rebellion’s main force. The excitement never wavering, but the discussion of rebuilding needed to happen sooner rather than later given the state some of the kingdom’s were in. She-Ra healed the planet, but magic could only help so much with destroyed buildings, separated families, lost civilians, and a whole bunch of other things Glimmer’s aunt began to list off. The reality of how <em>long</em> it would take pulled the princesses down from the victory high and most decided to return to their respective kingdoms immediately to begin work. Scorpia, Glimmer, Adora, Catra, Entrapta, both Hordaks and King Micah—is he still king even if Sparkles is queen, never mind—would head back to Bright Moon to begin planning their next move and the rebellions next overall objective. Perfuma, Frosta, and Mermista would go back to their people and return to Bright Moon once their kingdom’s stability was no longer in question.</p><p>Glimmer agreed to teleport the princesses back to save them time, especially since it was mid-afternoon by the conclusion of the battle. Mermista and deranged pirate friend, who Arrow Boy says is her boyfriend, left for Salineas. Their goodbyes included the pirate singing something about Mermista’ s bravery before she scolded him. Catra agreed the princess had proven herself a very capable fighter, though she’d never sing about it, and the pirate it seems had been able to reach her despite being chipped. After some hugs and Sea Hawk talking with Bow about their next adventure, Glimmer disappeared with the pair.</p><p>The small princess who likes to punch people with ice gloves left next, Catra avoided her when she said her goodbyes. Her jaw was in no rush to give the tiny princess a hug. Scorpia gave her a crushing hug, mentioning she would come visit and Frosta gave Adora a long hug too. The couple insisted on traveling with her to her kingdom. Though not from her kingdom, Spinerella and Netossa insisted on traveling with back to her kingdom and wanted to accompany the young girl. And take a small vacation because Spinerella insisted she needed to make up their anniversary to Netossa.</p><p>King Micah gave the young girl a quick hug, thanking her for something and Swift Wind bent his head down to nuzzle her. Netossa hugged Perfuma tightly, Spinerella thanked Adora for helping her wife rescue her and apologized for the trouble she had given them. Catra watched curiously as the married couple said their final goodbyes and disappeared when Glimmer returned from Salineas.</p><p>
  <em>Those two were an anomaly.</em>
</p><p>Catra recalled how reckless Netossa was willing to be to get her wife back, and how when they were reunited how unwilling she had been to leave her <em>wife’s</em> side. What an odd concept: to be married. There were no couples in the Fright Zone, no relationships at all. Though obviously there were crushes and feelings for one another, the concept of marriage struck a chord with Catra. The couples love had been evident in their actions before the major battle and in the soft touches and the lingering looks, they gave one another. Spinerella even called Netossa <em>darling</em>, instead of her actual name. Weird indeed.</p><p>Catra made a mental note to talk to Netossa someday. First to talk about how the woman’s weakness for her was to spray her with water and what other weaknesses she had on Adora—and maybe ask what it is like to be a wife.</p><p>Perfuma was the last to leave, crying as she said goodbye to Arrow Boy and to King Micah. She gave Adora a long hug, mentioning how she would come visit soon because she had missed the blonde hair girl while she’d been in space. She approached Catra slowly, meeting her gaze when Catra finally looked her in the eye. Though hesitant, Perfuma slowly wrapped her arms around Catra’s shoulders and whispered, “I told you it would be worth it.”</p><p>Catra’s ears lower slightly as she blushes from the memory just like she had after the princess’s hug.</p><p>Catra only nodded in response and glanced over at Adora with a side eye. She goes to say something to the girl, but nothing comes out her mouth when she sees that Perfuma has moved away and is hugging Scorpia. Instead her mind plays back a bitter memory.</p><p>
  <em>I know all about how you treated her in the Horde.</em>
</p><p>Perfuma took her time saying goodbye to everyone, but especially to Scorpia. The two talk with their heads close together and even from this distance Catra can see the slight blush on Scorpia’s cheeks as she speaks with her friend. A <em>better</em> friend.</p><p>Catra’s ears flatten and she rubs her arm as she gets more uncomfortable. Scorpia’s usual demeanor calls for her to be hesitant and stutter, but with Perfuma her body language screams comfort and affection. The two embrace and the connection is almost electric: wild and exciting. Scorpia spins them before putting down the blonde princess who is only a few inches shorter than the large scorpion. Perfuma leans up to kiss her cheek before giving her a crown of flowers to wear. With a final wave, Glimmer grabs Perfuma’s shoulder and the two disappear in a flash. Scorpia turns to walk towards the remaining rebels and makes eye contact with Catra, though she waves shyly Catra can’t help the pit in her stomach that tightens her throat.</p><p>
  <em>It’s you. You drive them away wild cat.</em>
</p><p>Catra’s body tenses again as the memory rips through her. Catra’s reaction must have been as obvious earlier today too because Scorpia stops walking towards her and tilts her head in question. Lightning quick, Catra reaches for the back of her neck and rubs it gently. When Catra goes to look up at her, another scene blinds her.</p><p><em>You’re a bad friend</em>.</p><p>Scorpia is now in front of her and looking down in concern, Catra frozen by the sudden rush of guilt threatening to suffocate her. Before the taller woman can say anything, Glimmer is back and asking if everyone is ready to head back to Bright Moon. The walk isn’t far and so the group decides to just walk back, if only to save Glimmer from feeling even more drained after the battle and transporting three princesses across Etheria. Catra quickly separates herself and walks with Melog at the back of the pack. The last conversation between her and Scorpia replays in her mind again and again.</p><p>“If you can even call it a conversation.” Catra mutters to herself, recalling this afternoon’s interaction with her former friend. The wind carries with it the warmness of the water below and the sound of soft murmurs from the levels below her. Melog snuggles in closer with a soft meow, glancing up at Catra who refuses to look down at the small feline. She chooses instead to rub Melog’s head, recalling how she had lashed out at yet another person who cared about her before things went south for the Horde. Yeah, she apologized to Scorpia, but she was yet another conversation Catra tried to avoid for as long as possible.</p><p>The way back to Bright Moon gave the rebels time to seek out comfort in those they had been separated from for what felt like an eternity. Bow and Glimmer sought out King Micah and informed him of their experiences in space, Adora and Scorpia discussed what happened in one another’s absence, and Entrapta appeared to be briefing Hordak about her adventures with Wrong Hordak and their escapades with the rebellion. The king’s sister for her part walks alongside her brother, smiling as Bow explains their epic battle in the asteroid belt and Glimmer bragging how she had been his eyes throughout the flight. Arrow Boy and Sparkles never parted more than a few inches, the queen holding onto the boy’s arm for much of the walk back. Curious indeed, Catra smirked slightly as she now had something to poke at the Queen about. Seems the two finally admitted to what the entire rebellion already knew. Melog walked next to Catra and rubbed against her in a show of affection, bringing up the rear left little conversation to have for the sulking girl.</p><p>That is until Adora grabs her hand and Scorpia joins on the other side of the girl. Though she feels out of place despite recent events, the warm hand and loving smile Adora gives her lifts Catra’s spirits immediately. Scorpia smiles at the two and continues to tell the couple about the encounter with Double Trouble under water, how she even sang to distract the crowd, what she remembers from being chipped, and what the hive mind was like. Catra, though hesitant, confides in Scorpia towards the end of the walk that she can relate to the hive mind fear and anxiety. Adora squeezes her hand as she talks, and though her and the blonde only exchange a few words, the walk back seemed to speed up once her and Adora were connected.</p><p>Once they arrived back at the castle, a lot happened at once. King Micah and his sister insisted Adora and Sparkles join them for a meeting in the war room with their generals to begin discussions of rebuilding as soon as possible. The king’s sister insisting they get some semblance of a plan before she returned to Mystacor to help there and obtain the aid of the sorcerers there as well. Hordak volunteers to attend so that he can explain how the clones will adjust without their overlord and how they could be of benefit to Etheria as a whole. Adora looks at Catra when she is called and kisses her cheek goodbye, with a final squeeze of her hand Adora walks away to join Bright Moon’s returned King. Bow comes up behind her and grabs her shoulder, saying his goodbye and explaining he is leaving to spend some time with his Dads. Glimmer waves at her before disappearing, her magic renewed with her proximity to her rune stone. Leaving Catra alone with Entrapta, Wrong Hordak, Scorpia, and Emily—the robot.</p><p>Great.</p><p>Catra wondered when it was Entrapta, Scorpia and herself had last been together. She approaches the group, feeling out of place yet again and as she does Scorpia suggests they get dinner. It was nearly nighttime and Catra couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten anything so with a quick nod, the group heads inside. The halls are elegant, vaulted ceilings and tapestries showing the kingdom’s history adorn the walls as they make their way through the castle. Entrapta fills the halls with her voice as she tells stories of her space experiments and discoveries with Scorpia who looks back at Catra for confirmation at some of the things Entrapta says.</p><p>Catra only nods and gives an awkward smile whenever she’s looked upon. As they round a corner, they enter a large corridor where the windows show the silhouettes of Bright Moon’s royal family. Catra stares up at the magnificent stained-glass windows, recognizing King Micah, Glimmer, and even the Queen. The foyer must be well illuminated when the sun is out given the size of the windows. She stops for a moment as she looks at Glimmer’s mom, wondering for the first time where she was or had been all this time.</p><p>“Catra you coming?”</p><p>Catra looks back towards the group and Scorpia is looking at her from around the corner. She nods before jogging to catch up, turning the corner to the dining hall entrance where Entrapta and both Hordaks are sitting at a huge round table. The scene should feel welcoming, but for what feels like the hundredth time today, her mind decides it will be anything but. Catra for the most part had stayed quiet when the group split, not because she was afraid or anything, because she doesn’t fear Scorpia or Entrapta. She’s just not too experienced with making up with the people she hurt. Especially when these two had been so eager to forgive her, even hugging her. It was still to fresh for Catra, too weird, and certainly not something she wanted to deal with all at once.</p><p>Entrapta looks up from her conversation with the Hordaks to wave at Catra and laugh when Wrong Hordak asks what the purpose of a fork was.</p><p>
  <em>I don’t care what it takes!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Get her out of here! Put her on the transport to Beast Island!</em>
</p><p>And there it was. The penance it seemed she would pay for the time being. Catra takes a step backward, away from the dining hall, away from the people she’d hurt, and away from the forgiveness she didn’t deserve. Not yet.</p><p>“I think I’m just going to go.” Catra tells Scorpia, looking at her quickly before turning around. This time both of her hands go to the back of her neck and rubs up through her short hair. Scorpia goes to reach for her but hesitates before calling after her. Catra stops but doesn’t turn around, tail swishing side to side and Melog sitting down to look up at her.</p><p>“Whenever you’re ready. We can talk about it. Okay? Wildcat?”</p><p>Catra’s eyes go wide and turns over her shoulder to look back at Scorpia who has a sympathetic and welcoming smile on her face. She nods at Catra before heading into the dining hall where Entrapta yells something about tiny food and the need for amniotic fluids for the Hordaks. Scorpia raises her claws and lets out laugh saying she’ll figure something out.</p><p>A wind gust pulls her from her thoughts, and she is back on her perch. In a room a royal guard had escorted her to after she declined to eat dinner. The guard explained it was one of many guest rooms the castle offered and if she needed anything to reach out, but Catra meekly said she would be fine for the night before shutting the door and she’d been sitting out here ever since. Left alone in a foreign room, in a maze of a castle, and in a kingdom, who had hated her at one point. She’d been contemplating these voices ever since the sun was swallowed by the horizon and the stars expanded across the sky, waiting.</p><p>Too long really.</p><p>The reminders were getting more frequent and if left unchecked, Catra feared she may never really recover from her past. Forgiveness was a funny thing, she’d received it from some of the people she’d hurt the most and yet, the guilt continued to squeeze her chest. Her legs twitch in an effort to get her knees to her chest in a habitual reaction whenever Catra felt small, felt guilty. Her tail curled around her ankles as it had done since she was a small child, though back then Shadow Weaver had been the source of her grief. Now it seemed it was her own mind. Instead her leg’s involuntary action caused Melog to look up at her and Catra made the mistake of making eye contact with the cat.</p><p>And here we go.</p><p>Sure enough, Melog lowers their ears and lets out a stubborn sounding mew. Even if the imprint wasn’t present, Catra could know exactly what the magical creature was chastising her about. She scoffs slightly and looks away, not focusing on anything specific but wanting to avoid the inevitable.</p><p>“I told you, she’s busy with Sparkles and her Dad.”</p><p>Though she’d skipped dinner, Catra didn’t think it would have taken this long for Adora to come find her. Surely, the meeting had to be over by now. Maybe Adora had gone to the dining hall looking for her or even gone to bed. The day had been exhausting for everyone, but Catra couldn’t imagine the tole it had taken on Adora.</p><p><em>Go check on her</em>.</p><p>The thought snaps to the forefront of her mind and she looks back down at Melog. Unsure if the voice had been her own or the space cat’s but denying her need to go see Adora was futile. Especially when Melog would be relentless in making her confront her emotions, just like they had when Catra attempted to run away earlier that day.</p><p>“What made you choose me?” Catra ponders the question yet again, rubbing Melog’s head between their ears. Unfortunately, most Etherians could speak their minds or vent their frustrations to their companions. Catra didn’t have that luxury because she could expect an actual response in return. Although, Catra wonders if Adora ever speaks to her flying horse about these sorts of things. Melog looked away from Catra to the door leading to the hallway, away from the secluded perch and away from the isolation Catra had forced upon herself.</p><p> “She’s probably busy. Helping out the royal family with all the goody goody stuff.” Catra sighs. Was it still goody goody if she was with the rebellion now? Was there even a rebellion anymore? Either way, Catra was trying to not bother Adora or seem overly reliant on her presence: even if she would love the company. What even were they now? They had kissed.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>The scene plays again for Catra in her mind, a tender sensation filling her chest and instead of guilt squeezing her heart, she feels the warmth spreading throughout her body and even behind her eyes. Though tears do not fall, Catra’s resolve to not go see Adora fades away and instead the feeling of longing fills her senses. Melog emphasizes this by pressing their muzzle into Catra’s cheek who returns the gesture before standing.</p><p>“Fine. Let’s go find that idiot.”</p><p>Melog mews happily before jumping down from their shared perch. Catra lands with a soft thud on the balcony below, glancing back at the night scene before striding towards the door. She slows when she comes by a gaudy mirror on the far side of her room. Moving to stand in front of it, she notices how tired she looks. The last few weeks had been busier than any other time in her life, but the nights were restless, and sleep had evaded most of their group. She swears to herself to sleep for the next week, but she had to find Adora first.</p><p>These doors are ridiculous.</p><p>The effort it takes to push open the colossal door to even depart from her bedroom is enough to make Catra’s annoyance resurface. Melog steps out into the hall and looks both ways before mewling up at Catra. Catra looks left and right, using her ears to try and listen for any indication of which direction she should head. She decides to head back towards the main foyer to her right and go from there.</p><p>The hall curves around as Catra walks down with Melog, multiple doors on either side are open to show room after room that are vacant. The doors left open and the rooms lanterns extinguished. The war must have displaced a lot of Bright Moon’s soldiers and live-in residents. Otherwise it seemed like a waste of space. The ceiling above holds small chandeliers that illuminate the hall in a soft glow like the runestone outside. A few guards approach Catra and she gives a shy wave as they both nod in greeting.</p><p>She thinks to ask them for help, but by the time she turns around the guards are already too far down the hall. Eventually she reaches the juncture in the main foyer, the dining hall to her right and the way outside to the gardens to her left. However, to her front were multiple giant doors and two hallways.</p><p>This castle is more than ridiculous, it borderlines obnoxious. The place is like a damn maze.</p><p>Thanks to her enhanced hearing and the echoes bouncing off the wall in the hall, Catra hears Entrapta’s robot Emily followed by Entrapta’s laugh. Turning to her right she listens intently to see if the princess’s conversation offers her any clues. Hordak, it seems, has joined the dinner entourage. Catra walks towards them, hoping to ask Hordak whether the meeting had ended for everyone or if he had just left early. Before she can reach the dining hall however, Catra collides with a shoulder and stumbles slightly.</p><p>“Ow!”</p><p>Catra’s ears go back as she looks to yell at whatever or whoever ran into her, but she falters when she looks down at none other than Queen Sparkles herself. Sitting on the ground rubbing her forehead the small girls looks up curiously and when she doesn’t see anything looks around in confusion.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hi Sparkles.”</p><p>Glimmer scoots back and lets out a surprised yelp. Catra’s ears shoot up in confusion before looking down at her own hands only to realize Melog had instinctively made the pair invisible.</p><p>“Catra?” Glimmer guesses. Melog quickly lowers their invisibility in favor of moving forward to nuzzle the queen’s cheek. “Oh, and Melog!”</p><p>Catra reaches out a hand to help up the Queen of Etheria who happily accepts the gesture.</p><p>“How was your meeting or whatever?” Catra asks. Melog rubs against Glimmer, seeking more pets and Glimmer looks down at the space cat as she answers.</p><p>“A lot of voices and a lot of things to do. Salineas is in the worst shape so we will probably start there with rebuilding and organizing groups of us to help do our part. Hordak explained how lost the clones will be now they are free of hive mind but is optimistic they can be normal functioning Etherians eventually and could even help with rebuilding. The clones also know a little about First Ones tech so there’s that too.” Glimmer finishes her affection with Melog and starts to number off things on her fingers as she looks up at Catra. “My Dad wants to go to Mystacor to help with clean up and to share spells that could help out. Wrong Hordak and Entrapta will probably return to her kingdom according to Hordak. The other princesses are pretty focused on theirs as well, and Adora pretty much said she would help with <em>everything</em>.”</p><p>Catra chuckles and rolls her eyes, “Sounds like her. Dummy.”</p><p>
  <em>So, you’ll just run away?</em>
</p><p>Catra blinks and ears twitch as the Queen’s voice booms in her mind.</p><p>
  <em>Do one good thing in your life!</em>
</p><p>Suddenly, Catra is back on Horde Prime’s ship, in a prisoner cell, and talking to Glimmer about the First One’s ship. The queen had begged her to not say anything, to do one good thing, to be a hero instead of the villain she’d become. Her anger got the better of her when she walked away from the conversation and before she knew it, she was walking through the hallway. She remembers seeing the vision of her and Adora when they were younger, giggling and unafraid of the future that would eventually tear them apart. Catra must not show the horror from the recalled memory in her facial expression, the only other indication being her hand that raises to grip the back of her neck. Unaware, Glimmer only smiles up at her.</p><p>“Speaking of Adora…” Glimmer has a certain gleam in her eye and when she raises her eyebrows at Catra, the taller girl prepares for what she knows is coming. “Where are you going to all sneaky?”</p><p>Catra’s tail bristles and sells her out before she can even answer the girl’s question. Pushing down the rising feeling of guilt, Catra takes a steadying breath. Instead she feels slightly embarrassed at being caught walking around the castle, but it quickly subsides when Glimmer gives her a knowing grin, her eyes softening with understanding.</p><p>“Listen, Melog only made us invisible because you spooked me.” Catra explains though Glimmer’s stare makes it evident she isn’t buying the explanation. “And fine. I’m…going to see Adora.”</p><p>
  <em>She wants me too.</em>
</p><p>“Oh? And do you even know where you’re going?”</p><p>“Yeah, okay fine, fine. I don’t have any idea where I’m going, but your castle is ridiculous Sparkles. And weird.” Catra replies, Melog coming up to sit next to her as if to show they are proud of Catra being honest with the Queen. And herself.</p><p>Glimmer laughs, crosses her arms in triumph, and replies in her sing song voice, “I knew it! Well you’re currently on the wrong side of the castle. I can teleport us there if you want—”</p><p>“No. Absolutely not.” Catra steps back and waves her hands across her chest. “My stomach cannot handle another poof right now. Just give me directions and I’ll figure it out.”</p><p>“Haha, fine. Go back towards your room, take the first right you come too and it’s the last door of the left. It’s literally the farther corner to the East and, yes, she specifically chose <em>that </em>room despite it being the farthest away from the dining hall.” Glimmer motions with her hands as she points behind her to direct Catra and looks back to Catra with a small smile. “Now if you’ll excuse me. I am done with that meeting, I’m sick of standing and will be going to bed. Immediately.”</p><p>Glimmer stands still for a moment, unsure on how to say goodbye to Catra. Catra sense it too, the tension—no, not tension—the hesitancy between them. Sure, Glimmer had hugged her before going with Bow to fight against Horde Prime and maybe even kissed her cheek when they managed to sneak past the blockade. However, without the immediate threat of danger or outstanding circumstance it seemed both had time to register how awkward the other could be. Catra sighs and steps forward to hug the smaller girl around the shoulders, relieved when Glimmer giggles and returns the gesture. She backs up and nods before stepping around the small Queen.</p><p>“Thanks, your highness. Tell Arrow Boy I say hello.” Catra throw over her shoulder, her smirk obvious in her voice as she glances back at the now blushing girl.</p><p>“I can’t say I know what you mean.”</p><p>“Oh please, Sparkles. You’re going to see Bow.”</p><p>“You’re wrong!” Glimmer tries to sound intimidating, but her smile cracks the façade.</p><p>“Not about this kind of thing. I’m always right.” Catra brags. “Must be nice to just teleport anywhere, to see <em>anyone</em>, whenever you want.”</p><p>“It is.” Glimmer sends back with a smirk and laughs when Catra wiggles her eyebrows. “But you <em>have </em>been wrong.”</p><p>Catra tilts her head, her ears moving so one is up and the other down. The question evident in her features.</p><p>“Back on the ship,” Glimmer looks down and grins at the memory. “You said there was no one left in the entire universe who cared about you. I don’t know a lot about the universe, but I know you have people in <em>this</em> castle who care about you. Maybe even in this hallway, Horde Scum.”</p><p>Catra is taken back. Whatever comeback she was expecting from the Queen it certainly wasn’t anything like that. Catra added her to the list of people she would eventually sit down and just talk with. The list seemed to grow more and more as the day went on, but right now, Adora was at the top of it. Glimmer only smiles at Catra before taking a deep breath, preparing to teleport.</p><p>
  <em>She specifically chose that room.</em>
</p><p>“Hey Sparkles?” Catra reaches her hand towards Glimmer, trying to get the girl’s attention who looks at her curiously. “What made Adora choose this room? If it’s so far from everyone else, what’s the point?”</p><p>Glimmer only grins wickedly, laughing to herself before saying, “Ask her yourself, Ms. Know-it-All.”</p><p>With that the queen disappears in a puff of sparkles and a soft popping sound. Leaving Catra alone in the hallway to think over the very vague answer Glimmer had given her. And a smile spreads across her features at how easy it had been to talk to her.</p><p>“I will.”</p><p>~</p><p>Catra makes quick work of the hallways, moving with a purpose now that she knew where she was going. She runs into the king’s sister briefly before she waves her off. Glimmer wasn’t joking when she said Adora’s room was in the farthest corner of the castle. The hallway to her room is empty except for a room directly across from Adora’s. Looking inside Catra sees it has a fireplace, a big table, and numerous bookshelves. The hallway itself doesn’t end in a wall, but instead a giant glass window with small doors in the center. Catra walks up to the glass doors and peers outside. A staircase makes it way down to the lake surrounding the castle and the lanterns allow Catra to see all the way down the stairs.</p><p>Melog mews softly and Catra agrees with them. Looking back to Adora’s doors, she strides towards it and concludes the room is <em>very </em>isolated. Not at all what Catra was expecting from the talkative and social girl she was looking for. Catra gets her attention back at the matter at hand: knocking on the door.</p><p>A deep breath in and she moves her hand forward to knock. But freezes just short. Melog gently pushes on her thigh.</p><p>“I’m trying.” Catra growls to herself and to Melog. “Ugh”</p><p>Catra drops her hand and looks up in frustration, closing her eyes and squeezing her hands on either side. Perhaps this was going to be harder than she thought. I mean getting here was harder than she thought but taking this leap of faith required her to, in fact, jump. And here she was teetering on the edge with her nerves. Being forward wasn’t the problem when she was making fun of someone or lashing out, but when it came to being <em>vulnerable</em>, as Perfuma described, Catra wasn’t used to it. Hadn’t ever really tried it up until recently.</p><p>Catra takes one final breath and raises her fist to knock, hard, and nearly concusses Adora as she swings open the door.</p><p>Adora—for her part—opens the door so abruptly she doesn’t notice Catra immediately, or her fist coming for her forehead and Catra is so surprised instead of stopping her hand from going forward she only has time to open her fist as she smacks Adora’s forehead.</p><p>“Ow, what the, Catra!” Adora gasps as Catra pulls her hand back and takes a step backward. Adora rubs her forehead and Catra brushes down her bristled tail, both recovering from the scare and both looking at the other in a mixture of confusion and happiness. Adora’s hair is down, a few strands sticking her to her neck and Catra tries her best to not be distracted by how beautiful she looks in this state. She just smacked her after all.</p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Catra starts. “Or you know, smack you.”</p><p>Adora looks at her suspiciously before laughing, not just a small giggle, but Adora bends slightly as she continues to laugh. Catra returns the laugh, smiling slightly in embarrassment before joining in on the feeling.</p><p>“It’s fine. I’m sorry for scaring <em>you</em>.”</p><p>“It’s fine, uhm, where were you going?” Catra tries to play off the softness of her tone by leaning against the doorframe. Her attempts to take back control of the situation almost succeed except she misses the doorframe and stumbles slightly. She stands back up and tries to calm her rapidly increasing heart rate.</p><p>“Oh, well actually, I was coming to find you.” Adora brings one arm up to grab her elbow, visibly nervous. She looks at Catra’s tail as it swishes from side to side and smiles down at her. “Would you like to come in?”</p><p>“I would love to.” Catra replies softly, stepping in when Adora steps to the side and motions with her hand to enter. Melog mews, Adora noticing them for the first time leans down to pet the alien cat gently. The cat purrs into the touch before licking Adora’s cheek, however, instead of following Catra in, the cat turns and walks back the way it came.</p><p>Catra turns to see Adora closing the door, with no Melog in sight. Of course not. Melog left Catra to her own demise.</p><p>
  <em>Honestly, why am I not surprised.</em>
</p><p>Catra walks ahead of Adora, taking in the room as she does. It’s smaller than Catra’s, in the center hangs a giant tapestry, flowing down to the floor and surrounds a small bed. She walks closer and realizes the bed is about the about—if not exactly—the same size at the cadet bunk beds back in the horde barracks. Seems old habits die hard. She glances over at Adora who is putting her hair up into a messy bun before motioning Catra to follow her. The breeze dances between them and suddenly the sweet smell of flowers and smooth scent of water fill Catra’s senses. It’s no surprise as Catra follows Adora around the tapestry to a giant opening where a normal architect would have put a wall.</p><p>Without much thought, Catra walks next to Adora and grabs her hand as the taller girl leads her outside to a balcony strikingly similar to the one she’d been hiding out in earlier this evening. The night air surrounds them, cool but not uncomfortable. The cliffs greet Catra yet again with their warming light and towering appearance. The view is incredible from here and Catra looks towards the Whispering Woods, beyond the lakes of Bright Moon where the magic is in full effect.</p><p>Even from here the small glowing orbs of magic can be seen gliding through the trees, magical creatures lie just out of view but Catra is sure they are active with the heart destroyed. Catra lets go of Adora’s hand to lean over the railing of the balcony, tail curling around Adora’s leg as she stands next to her, shoulders just a whisper apart.</p><p>“I see why you would choose this room,” Catra tells Adora. Moving to close the minimal gap between them so they are connected. “The view is amazing.”</p><p>“Well, uh, actually.” Adora starts, rubbing the back of her neck with her hand. “I chose this room because, it’s uhm, the only room in the castle that faces the Fright Zone.”</p><p>“I mean, why would you want to face that place?”</p><p>Adora takes a deep breath, not to calm her nerves or because she’s uncomfortable with the admission, but because she can’t help but laugh at the memory. Catra looks over at Adora, her eyes are definitely wide with hesitant anticipation at her answer, but the other girl doesn’t meet her gaze. The silence forces Catra’s attention back to Adora’s hair that, despite being in a bun on top of her head, sways in the gentle breeze. Adora tucks some hair behind her ear before finally meeting the blue and gold orbs staring at her. “Guess I never stopped hoping I’d see you on the horizon.”</p><p>Catra’s blush is immediate but she hopes the way she snaps her face back towards the view isn’t too obvious. “Guess I know why Sparkles told me to ask you.”</p><p>Adora laughs, “She told you to ask me? You know what that sounds like her. When did you even see her? I thought she was going straight to bed.”</p><p>Catra cackles and pokes Adora’s forehead. “Okay, one, Sparkles was <em>not</em> going to bed because she was teleporting to go see Arrow Boy. Two, I found her when I got lost looking for this stupid room. Thanks for picking the farthest room possible Adora.”</p><p>“Wait, she went to see Bow?”</p><p>“You’re such an idiot. <em>Yes</em>, Adora. She went to see Bow.”</p><p>“Oh, so she went to see Bow for the same reason you came to see me then huh?” Adora smirks and Catra recognizes that smirk because it’s the same one she’d been exposed to right after jumping into illusionary fire. Seems the smirk was taking a permanent place in the looks Adora gave her feline friend. The smaller girl also realizes that Adora is trying to gain the upper hand and she couldn’t let that happen.</p><p>“Oh please. Like you weren’t leaving your room to come see <em>me</em>.” Catra shoves against Adora’s shoulder slightly to emphasize her point. “You almost ran into me you were so excited. I know I’m great and all Adora, but really, it’s kind of embarrassing how much of a hurry the mighty <em>She-Ra</em> was in to see me.”</p><p>Adora tilts her head back to laugh and Catra can’t recall anything sounding better than Adora’s laugh. The two of them going back and forth with their banter, trying to one-up the other and the flirting naturally taking ahold of them both. Something Catra never thought she’d get back. Adora pokes Catra’s forehead back before pushing off the railing, “Whatever, come on.”</p><p>Catra looks out once more towards where she guesses the Fright Zone is. The last time she was there, she’d almost drowned fighting a chipped princess. And before that, she’d nearly destroyed parts of the forge fighting Hordak before being betrayed by Double Trouble.</p><p><em>We both know this is never what you really wanted</em>.</p><p>Catra’s grip on the railing tightens before she scoffs and walks away from it, leaving the Fright Zone and its tainted memories behind her. Looking back into the room, Adora has settled on the floor and is moving around some pillows to clear a space beside her. There’s plenty of pillows around on the soft looking carpet. It gives the impression that a lot of time is spent gathered in the small area near Adora’s bed under the privacy of the hanging tapestry. Adora sits down with her back against the side of her bed, patting the spot next to her when Catra approaches. Catra looks at her before smirking, if Adora was going to poke at her for being here, then she was really going to let the blonde have it.</p><p>Instead of occupying the space beside Adora, Catra instead takes her seat in between her legs and settles into her lap comfortably. Adora—to her credit—only wavers for a moment before allowing the other girl to get settled. Catra sits perpendicular to Adora, like how she had when she was distracting Adora on the ship despite the girl’s attempts to concentrate. Adora relaxes her leg, accepts that Catra is sitting this close and Catra places herself so she sits in the space between Adora’s thighs, her feet over one leg and her arms wrapped around her knees loosely. Her tail moves to brush against Adora’s nose slightly and she giggles when Adora tries—and fails—to grab at it.</p><p>“Is this where you and your lame friends have your sleepovers?”</p><p>“How did you know we had sleepovers?” Adora asks, looking down at Catra.</p><p>
  <em>We’d raid Bright Moon’s kitchen for cake and then we’d eat it with our hands right of the platter.</em>
</p><p>Catra looks at Adora, considers her answer, before deciding that if she is going to work on her anger, she might as well work on her honesty too.</p><p>“Well when Sparkles and I were back on that ship we would, ya know, talk. Every now and then. It came up.” Catra responds. It’s not a lie, but it doesn’t tell Adora the whole truth either. Catra glances over at Adora who looks at her patiently, head leaned back against her bed. Adora moves to place an arm across Catra’s lap and it gives her the boost she needs. With a groan Catra continues, “Ugh, I got lonely. On the ship, Horde Prime kept Glimmer locked away as his prisoner. I was one too, but he let me roam around, not that there was much to do or anyone besides clones to talk too. I found Hordak once, but the other clones were…unnatural.”</p><p>Adora listens intently, her arm resting softly across Catra and the contact is comforting. The silence from Adora reminds Catra of <em>their</em> sleepovers, they would talk and talk, but this time they didn’t have to whisper for fear of getting caught. Now it seemed, Catra whispered because she was afraid to talk at all.</p><p>“What was it like up there?”</p><p>Adora never pushes Catra, not now and not when they were kids. Even when Catra would run off and cry, or pout, she always waited for Catra to open up and come back with her. The pace is set by Catra and this time, she welcomes the memories as they flood back into her mind and she stars to share her experiences with Adora.</p><p>“Space? Amazing. Horde Prime? Not amazing. He would conquer planets and the clones would visit them to ensure they were still under his control. There are so many planets in the universe, but where Prime went, destruction usually followed. I couldn’t watch anymore. So, instead, I would go see Sparkles, sometime to talk and other times…just to see her. That’s weird, but how do I talk to a girl I’d been fighting for the past few years? Prime didn’t like me talking to her anyway, but I needed something to do, so I didn’t care.” Catra smiles at the memory of breaking the rules and talking to the queen of Bright Moon. “When I finally decided to talk to her, I just sat outside her cell and we talked about what we would be doing back on Etheria if we weren’t prisoners. She mentioned you having sleepovers and eating cake with your fingers. Thought you had some manners Adora?”</p><p>At the comment, Adora can’t help the snort and ensuing laugh that erupts from her chest. Small tears form at the corners of her eyes as she recalls the memory and Catra can’t help the small blush that sits on her cheeks as she looks at the blonde. “It was one time and it was the first time I’d ever even <em>seen</em> cake like that! It was nothing like the grey stuff in the Fright Zone. The chefs were so mad at us, Glimmer didn’t care, and we brought the rest back here and ate it. It’s sweet and has icing—it’s like colorful sugar. Anyway, I couldn’t help myself and so, yes, I used my hands”</p><p>As she laughs at herself, Catra moves her arms from atop her knees down to hold Adora’s that lays across her stomach. She laces her fingers through Adora’s hand as she looks at her.</p><p>“Well, she called it her ‘perfect day.’ I even brought her some of that dumb alien food that the clone said was cake. But, at the time, anything sounded better than being on that ship. She just wanted to see you two again and cake apparently.” Catra smiles as Adora shakes her head again and laughs to herself. Imagining Adora eating like an animal wasn’t hard, even when they were growing up, she could be a messy eater if she was hungry enough and her self-control when it came to new things was almost as good as Catra’s: not at all.</p><p>“What did you say?”</p><p><em>There’s nothing for me on Etheria</em>.</p><p>It’s when Catra tenses and her ears fold down that Adora knows she’s found a pressure point. When they were young, Adora would always be the one to comfort Catra. She knew her better than anyone, knew how to read her body language, knew how to get information out of her and above all, when to <em>not</em> push a topic. Adora’s smile wavers as she looks at Catra as a dozen emotions run across her features, her eyes widen, and she holds her breath and the blonde can’t help the need to pull her in closer. Catra gives in to the small pull and scoots closer to Adora’s chest, leaning slightly and Adora brings up her other arm to wrap around Catra’s back. Patient and supportive, Catra takes a stabilizing breath.</p><p>“Uh, I said,” Catra’s chest squeezes at the memory. At the time, she truly thought what she said was true and sitting here in Adora’s lap, in Bright Moon made her feel worse. “I told her nothing. I said there was nothing for me on Etheria.”</p><p>Catra leans forward to put her chin on her knees, habitually trying to make herself as small as possible. Adora recognized the reaction immediately, sitting up to bring her face closer to the side of Catra’s. Catra’s tail twitches and she doesn’t look to Adora but doesn’t pull away either.</p><p>“Well I hope you know now that there <em>is</em> something for you on Etheria.” Adora’s offering of an alternative answer strikes an unfamiliar chord in Catra’s chest. Though the memory of her and Glimmer’s conversation is still fresh in her mind, Adora’s offering of the truth helps quell the rising storm of emotions she’s feeling. Catra looks at her then, Adora’s face a few inches away and she can’t deny the blossoming warmth that replaces the guilt deep in her chest.</p><p>“I do.” Catra grins wickedly, “I have Melog.”</p><p>Adora laughs and puts her forehead against the side of Catra’s head, the cat’s ear pressed between. “Exactly, Melog. The space cat from Krytis.”</p><p>Catra leans into Adora’s presence, both knowing full well that Catra has more than just her companion here on Etheria. She has Adora. Sparkles and Arrow Boy, Scorpia and the rest of the rebellion. Though quiet, Adora hears the unmistakable sound of Catra’s purring. Adora to this day, isn’t too sure of whether the smaller girl ever realizes when she starts to purr. The sound fills the minimal space between them, until Adora feels Catra tense and her tail flicks in response to an emotion Adora knows too well: fear.</p><p><em>If Prime catches Adora, he’ll use the Heart of Etheria to wipe the whole universe</em>.</p><p>Catra’s reaction is subconscious, forced, and unfortunately for her, revealing.</p><p>Her hand release Adora’s and it grabs the back of her neck and she freezes. Eyes wide as the reality of the situation intensifies because Adora knows her better than anyone, even better than Catra herself at times, and time seems to slow down as Catra lifts her head to look at Adora. Her hand not moving from the base of her neck. There would be no denying anything, not with the way Adora eyes screamed concerned.</p><p>“Catra?”</p><p>
  <em>Is that what you want?</em>
</p><p>Catra goes rigid as another voice invades her mind. This time Adora reacts, putting an arm under Catra’s legs and the other around her shoulders and pulls Catra to her chest. Catra covers her mouth as she swallows the gasp being chased by a sob. Her eyes squeeze shut as she wills the voice to leave her mind and a small whimper escapes her lips as she leans into Adora’s neck, just under her chin. Adora just cradles her, not pushing, not rushing, waiting until Catra wants to speak.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Adora just shakes her head, the motion causing Catra’s hair to ruffle slightly as the taller girl increases the strength of her hold. Catra listens intently to Adora’s heartbeat, the steady rhythm soothing as she recovers from her most recent flashback.</p><p>“How long?”</p><p>“Since I was chipped. Kinda.” Catra admits. “The flashes stopped when Entrapta removed it, but ever since that thing attacked me under Horde Prime’s virus, I’ve been having these voices in my head.”</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“No.” Catra’s answer is again another reflex of hers, meant to save her from facing her emotions and the consequences of them. The self defense mechanism has been perfected over the last few years after Adora left, but her whole life had been a game of hiding her emotions. Running away to cry when she was young, not letting Shadow Weaver see her weakness, not fighting back when Hordak scolded her, not admitting how much it hurt when Adora left…</p><p>“Okay, we don’t have to—”</p><p>“But we need to.”</p><p>Adora stops in her tracks and though Catra cannot see Adora’s face, she’s sure those blue eyes are wide in shock. Catra sits up, detangles herself from Adora’s arms so she can turn and face away from her. However, she slides back so her back is an inch or so away from Adora and holds her hand out for Adora’s. Adora offers her hands immediately. Catra wraps the arms around her middle and brings her own knees to her chest, her tail curls around her ankles and Adora reacts by bringing her legs into bracket Catra and hug her from behind.</p><p>“Could we talk like this? I think it helps if I don’t see your face, helps me concentrate and just talk.”</p><p>“You saying my face is a distraction?” Adora is hesitant with the joke, but it does the trick as Catra visibly relaxes and breaths out a small laugh.</p><p>“Shut up. I just mean, for now, I think this will help me. I want to talk to you, but it’s hard to talk <em>to </em>you if that makes sense.” Catra looks ahead at the doors she came in and awaits an answer. Adora just places her forehead against her shoulder and nods.</p><p> “Whatever you want to talk about Catra, I’ll listen.” Adora whispers; kind and warm, just like she’s always been. Catra’s mind wanders to when they were kids, Adora finding her after she hit Lonnie, hiding under her blanket when she was a toddler, all the times they trained together, and the times Adora stood tall between her and Shadow Weaver.</p><p><em>I promise</em>.</p><p>Though she stiffens, Catra hears Adora’s voice echo in her mind and Adora tightens her hold. Catra takes the opportunity to take a deep breath.</p><p><em>Perfuma, you better be right</em>.</p><p>“I need to just talk. About what I’ve done, the past few weeks, and I’m just not sure where to start. Or how much I can talk.”</p><p>And she really doesn’t. Catra thinks about where even <em>to</em> start. Given the girl’s rocky history the past few years as they were pitted against one another. Catra blames herself for most of it, she put all the blame on Adora for leaving her behind, joining the stupid rebellion and getting new best friends. She’d been wrong though. The last few weeks had proven it so. Adora never hated her, never intentionally chose anyone over her, never gave up hope on her, and had loved her too. Their story hadn’t been the happiest, but the most recent chapter? It’d changed things. It had changed Catra.</p><p>“I guess, I guess I want to say sorry again. For all the stuff that happened between us when you left the Horde and found out you were, She-Ra. I ruined so many lives during the war,” Catra stops for a moment, the last bits of hesitancy causing her throat to dry out with the next part. “And in the process, I destroyed my own life.”</p><p>Catra take a deep breathes in, “And there may or may not be voices in my head whenever I so much as look at someone I’ve wronged. Guess I’m just as weird as your friends.”</p><p>Though the silence stalks around Catra, it is isn’t threatening to suffocate her this time. She can’t avoid Adora’s stare given their position, can’t make any assumptions based off her facial expression, and can’t push her away. Literally.</p><p>“So, they aren’t related to those flashes you were having?”</p><p>“No. They aren’t connected to him. These voices are from my own memory. None of them very good. I just, I hear someone’s voice and I just freeze. I grab the back of my neck because I want it to be <em>his</em> fault, but it isn’t. These voices are because I hurt people, because I made mistakes. And they’re haunting me.”</p><p>Adora again doesn’t respond immediately. Catra fights the creeping guilt threatening to overtake her, her heart grows heavy and she wants to be small. She fights the pull of it, wanting to stay in the present and to avoid growing angry at herself.</p><p>“Catra, you aren’t defined by your mistakes.”</p><p>The cat straightens at the statement. Looking forward as tears begin to burn at the sides of her eyes, she blinks to try and stop them, and Adora continues.</p><p>“Who you were affects who you become, because we can’t change our past.” Adora lifts her head from Catra’s back and hooks her chin on Catra’s shoulder. The height difference allows Catra to lean back and be enveloped in the warmth radiating from the blonde. Adora’s breath makes Catra’s ear twitch and her cheek tuffs tickles Adora’s cheeks as she pulls her in. “When I came to Bright Moon, I had nightmares. I couldn’t believe what the Horde was doing to innocent civilians, couldn’t believe we’d grown up with lies, and the guilt was eating me alive. I thought no one wanted anything to do with me because I was the former Horde soldier. But I learned over time that I had to accept my mistakes, move past them, and just do better.”</p><p>Catra’s motivation to keep moving forward hadn’t been to do better. To surpass Lonnie, Kyle and the rest of her peers, to stand next to Hordak as equals, to defeat the rebellion, to defeat She-Ra, her motivation had been her anger. Validation for her actions would come with Horde ruling over Etheria, then it was Horde Prime winning, and then it was defeating She-Ra, defeating Adora, defeating her best friend. And then it wasn’t.  Her ears lower as she remembers how <em>that</em> had gone. The problem with anger being her driving force, it required someone to be angry at and Catra’s anger pushes people away.</p><p><em>This is never what you really wanted</em>.</p><p>“Catra?”</p><p>She only nods to Adora’s question as another voice invades her mind, still thinking through what Adora had said. Catra’s anger, and lack of any emotion other than anger, pushed away Scorpia, Entrapta, it made Hordak question her judgment, gave Shadow Weaver something to control her with, but her anger had hurt her too. Hurting others, causing that kind of pain, only served to prolong Catra’s own suffering. Self-destruction. That’s what it amounted to. A toxic, infectious anger that eventually consumed her. Her avoidance of the real problem, of the root of her anger, made her emotions explode until she could no longer control them, and instead they were controlling her. Double Trouble may not have been the best ally, but they did offer the slap of reality Catra needed. Instead of letting anger drive her, she needed to let it subside. To let in the guilt, not to be self-destructive, but to help her repair all she had done. She needed to <em>do better</em>.</p><p>“You make it sound so simple.”</p><p>“It’s not. At all. I don’t think I slept the first month I was here. But how could I have a future if I was stuck in my past ya know?”</p><p>“When did the idiot get so smart?” Catra pushes back slightly and Adora chuckles into her ear. She leans back against the bed but keeps her arms wrapped securely around Catra’s waist.</p><p>“Believe me, it took me not sleeping for a few weeks before Queen Angella gave me that advice. She wasn’t proud of her past actions either, but she knew I had to move past my Horde origins so I could become who I am now.”</p><p>“What happened to her?” Catra thinks back to the mural she saw in the foyer. She’d seen the queen before during the first time she’d nearly taken Bright Moon. However, she hadn’t seen much of the Queen in recent events, but Adora’s stiffness threw her. Catra looks over her shoulder, ears up waiting for an answer and Adora is looking down at the ground with a grim look on her face. “Adora?”</p><p>“She sacrificed herself to save Etheria when the portal was closing. She took my place.”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>The very portal Catra had opened in an attempt to finally get herself vindication. To finally validate all that she’d done. The portal had failed. It had nearly killed them all, though Catra at the time refused to believe any of it. Its failure threatened to tear apart space and time, it revealed the planet to the entire universe and brought Horde Prime right to their doorstep. But it served another purpose for Catra. Looking back, this is where Catra’s downward spiral began and she realizes that now. Because even in a perfect world, Adora chose to save the planet. She couldn’t be content to live in ignorant bliss with Catra and her anger blinded her to who was in the wrong. So, she opened the portal despite Entrapta’s warnings, fought Adora, and nearly blew up the Fright Zone doing so.</p><p>
  <em>You made your choice. Now live with it!</em>
</p><p>“Did you just hear a voice?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Catra admits, her hand raised slightly as her body reacted.</p><p>“Was it mine?”</p><p>Catra doesn’t speak this time, choosing to just nod and stare at Adora over her shoulder. Adora sits up again, looking at Catra with a mixture of concern and regret. An emotion Catra doesn’t see very often reflected in Adora’s blue eyes. Adora opens her mouth and then shuts it, choosing instead to close her eyes and shake her head slowly.</p><p>“Catra—”</p><p>“It needed to be said.” Catra cuts her off, not wanting to hear the apology sitting in Adora’s throat. Adora looks at her with mild confusion, Catra realizes Adora may have noticed the girl’s reaction but she didn’t know exactly what the voice had said in her mind. “You were right. I need to live with my decisions.”</p><p>Adora lifts her hand and shifts so she can touch Catra’s cheek, recalling how she’d punch her back when the portal fractured Etheria. The girls lock eyes, Catra doesn’t waver, doesn’t shy away, and doesn’t flinch when Adora rests her palm against the fur of her jaw. Both knew the gravity of that fight. The rift between them reached a new level that day, one Catra never thought they could recover from. Adora was done excusing Catra’s behavior and defending her actions, and Catra finally had an enemy in her old best friend. The dwindling relationship between them shattered in an instant, the blow may have bruised Catra’s cheek, but the pain would echo in her heart for weeks.</p><p>“That doesn’t mean you have to live with them alone.” Adora whispers, afraid to break the moment they are suspended in. “I said you had to live with it, but before she died Angella told me to protect one another. She may not have realized that included you, but it does. It always has.”</p><p>“Living with it doesn’t have to be a punishment, right?”</p><p>“Exactly.” Adora nods, looking at Catra’s eyes and briefly looking at her lips. Catra catches the movement and her eyes widen as she notices how close she’s drifted into Adora’s space. She leans into the hand at her jaw and brings her hand up to cover Adora’s. The joy a simple touch like this brings her speaks volumes to how far they had come. From throwing punches to gentle gestures. “Can I kiss you?”</p><p>“Mhmm.” Adora smiles as Catra nods her head. The two lean in and their lips connect gently, hesitant, but with a raw emotion of vulnerability, acceptance, and unmistakable affection.</p><p>Adora pulls back to look at Catra who leans in again to kiss her quickly before turning back and settling into their former position, falling against Adora’s front. Adora chuckles before leaving her cheek against the top of Catra’s head.</p><p>“Anything else you want to talk about?”</p><p>“Yes, but could we go back and forth? I think it’ll be easier if we both talk since, I’m not very good at this ‘dealing with my emotion thing’ and I want to hear from you too. About anything or, ya know, whatever you want.” Catra explains.</p><p>Talking through things wouldn’t be easy and there’s too much to unwrap to really dive into <em>everything</em> Catra knows they needed to talk out. However, the last few days had been especially difficult to take in as they occurred, but to that point, a lot had also happened between Adora and her. Never mind their history, their feelings were tested, pushed to their limits and finally exposed all while battling an evil intergalactic war lord, a planet with a weapon hell-bent on self-destructing, chipped friends, clones, etc. so the two girls were forced to push their emotions to the back of their minds. Adora from behind Catra acknowledged her point and considers where to start given Catra had just revealed some pretty heavy stuff about what’s been bothering her.</p><p>“Okay,” Adora nods. “I can do that.”</p><p>Catra’s tail flicks before moving to wrap gently around Adora’s leg.</p><p>“Well, I guess first thing is, I accept your apology. The one you just gave, but also the one you gave me back in space. You know, when you told me <em>not</em> to come rescue you over a space radio and told me to get to some random coordinates because Glimmer would suddenly just appear there.” Adora chuckles slightly at how out of nowhere the transmission had been. She’s not sure what she expected when Darla patched in the message but hearing Catra’s voice hadn’t been even remotely close. The strict instructions to avoid Horde Prime’s ship only made Adora all the surer she’d stop at nothing to get her back.</p><p> “I was trying to save you.” Catra argues. “I knew you would come to get Sparkles and I figured out a way to get her to you instead. But you just <em>had</em> to save me.”</p><p>“Hey, I didn’t even know you were on his ship until you contacted the First One ship!” Adora throws back.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“That’s why I was so confused as to why you were calling over the radio, <em>in space</em>, and you didn’t even give me time to react.” Adora leans her head back against the bed, recalling her panic and heartbreak when the line went dead. “When we got Glimmer, she said you told her that you didn't do it to save her, but you were saving <em>me</em>. I couldn’t believe it, but I couldn’t leave knowing you were with Prime. I wouldn't leave anyone. But especially you Catra.”</p><p>“Even though I had done nothing good in my life?” Catra offers up meekly. She braces for the incoming voice and sure enough:</p><p><em>Do one good thing in your life</em>!</p><p>Glimmer’s voice speaks again. And Catra decides she doesn't want an answer from Adora and continues.</p><p>“Sparkles told me to do one good thing in my life and I decided that saving you would be that one thing. Even if it meant Horde Prime would capture me and…” Catra doesn’t finish the sentence. “As long as he couldn’t get to you, it didn’t matter what he did to me.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry you went through that. I can’t imagine—” Adora stops short, leans forward to put her chin on Catra's shoulder and turns her nose into the sides of Catra’s head. She sighs. “I don’t <em>want</em> to imagine what you went through. Horde Prime told me you suffered during his process, that you had hoped I’d come for you, but when you came up onto that platform...”</p><p>How Catra looked at Adora hadn't been the most affectionate the past three years. When the two locked eyes an internal battle happened before a physical one could even begin. During the war on Etheria, Catra looked at Adora with eyes filled with hurt, anger, and confusion; but before they ever separated the look Catra would give always had underlying love. Adora didn't know it then, but it was a simple look and shoulder touch that helped calmed Catra when they were growing up. Shadow Weaver could be yelling but a glance at her best friend who was making a silly face and Catra would be okay. When Adora would wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat, two calming eyes would be looking up at her from the foot of the bed.</p><p>Adora takes a breath and shuts her eyes. “Catra, you looked right through me. And it was terrifying.”</p><p>Catra closes her eyes, flashes of the process striking and disappearing like lightning, her heart rate increasing as the anxiety from the experience sparks within her. Under Prime’s control, she remembers very little about their fight. After the chip is installed, the next thing Catra sees is Adora’s face briefly, so briefly she thinks it’s a trick from Horde Prime. Yet, somehow through all the noise of the hive mind and brain numbing chatter, there appears Adora’s face, hair down, and for the first time in a long time, Catra sees genuine fear in her eyes.</p><p>“I was so angry to see you. Not because I didn’t want you to come, but because it meant that Horde Prime had us both.”</p><p>Catra shifts then, Adora moving her arms away so Catra can adjust how she wants. Catra turns and sits down so that she faces Adora, her legs wrapped around and bracketing Adora’s hips. Catra lets her arms sit between them and Adora lets her hands lie softly on Catra’s hips. The blonde searches for signs of discomfort or anxiety in Catra’s eyes but finds an emotion she can’t quite place.</p><p>“I told you, Catra, you mattered to me.”</p><p>“Yeah, I remember. And you got me out of there, just like you promised you would.” Catra smiles hesitantly. “Although, I don’t remember much after I called you an idiot, I slipped back into the hive mind and then everything went black.”</p><p>Adora recalls jumping down after Catra, crawling to her body, hearing her ragged breathing and finding the inner strength to transform into She-Ra once again.</p><p>“Adora?” Catra looks at Adora with sad eyes. “Adora, did I die?”</p><p>Adora isn’t sure how to answer because she’s not sure what the answer is. She’d never healed someone like that. Bringing someone back from the dead? Could She-Ra even do that?</p><p>“I don’t know. Once we were on the ship and flying away from Horde Prime, I just tried to heal you.”</p><p>“You looked nice when I woke up.” Catra tries to lighten the dark mood. How does she even begin to process the fact that she had <em>died</em>, and Adora had brought her back to life? The answer: deal with it another time. “Scared, but still nice. Though I can’t imagine I looked much better.”</p><p>Adora scoffs and lets the heavy moment pass, “Your hair certainly was a surprise. Though I don’t mind this new look of yours.”</p><p>She raises her eyebrows before smirking at Adora.</p><p>“Yeah well, for a haircut I had no say in. I guess it’s okay. Better than your dumb hair poof.”</p><p>The playfulness has left Adora’s face when Catra looks back at her and she cocks her head to the side. “Adora?”</p><p> “I guess I have my first question.” Catra only nods at her to ask and Adora grabs her hand before doing so. “When you were under Horde Prime’s control…you said something—”</p><p>“I’m sure I said a LOT Adora.”</p><p>“Yes, but I guess I’m wondering how much of it was you and how much was him. Catra, did, did I really break your heart?”</p><p>Whatever Catra was expecting Adora to ask about, it certainly wasn’t <em>that</em>. Catra pondered the question, wondering to herself if she did mean anything she had said. Horde Prime controlled her, her mind was a tool for his manipulation of Adora, but the thoughts and things said: those belonged to Catra in a way too.</p><p>“I don’t know.” Catra begins, interlacing her fingers with Adora’s and letting her tail move as she thought about her answer. “He controlled my body, my mind wasn’t really my own, but the things I said. The not so nice things, they came from inside me. When you left all those years ago, it broke my heart because I’d never had a lot growing up in the Horde. None of us did, but I always had you. So, yes you hurt me, but I convinced myself my heartache was also your fault. And it wasn’t, it was mine.”</p><p>Adora nods her head, taking in the answer and thinking through what it meant to her. Saying Catra was not herself during that altercation would be an understatement. Seeing her two-toned eyes filled with that sickly green glow, the robotic tone of her voice, and the almost stranger presence continues to haunt Adora. When Horde Prime left them to talk, Adora tried her hardest to reach Catra and to avoid hitting her. This fight had been so different than any others because Adora was no longer fighting her best friend, she was fighting a ghost of girl she loved.</p><p> To Catra, the memories from the fight are lost to the chip Entrapta removed. But she remembers seeing Adora when she woke up—from literally the dead—on the ship.</p><p>“Then, instead of thanking you for saving me, I did what I always do: I got angry.”</p><p>“Yeah well, you are a stubborn brat when you want to be.” Adora raises an eyebrow and pokes Catra’s forehead. “I almost had to hold you down so Entrapta could get that chip out.”</p><p>“I kind of liked your tone when you were ordering me around.” Catra purrs.</p><p>“Oh, shut up.” Adora sits away as Catra leans in and wiggles her eyebrow. “Next time I’ll just use She-Ra to control you.”</p><p>“I’d never seen you transform before—”</p><p>“Which you <em>totally</em> loved—”</p><p>“Shut up!” Catra flicks Adora’s forehead this time. “It’s still a stupid costume, but I guess you are pretty powerful when you transform.”</p><p>Adora smiles and agrees, briefly explaining how she fought off the Horde clones back on Prime’s hip, smirking when she told Catra about the “miscalculated” comment, and of the epic battle in space against a couple of ships. Blushing slightly as Catra leans in as she talks.</p><p> “I still can’t believe you wanted me to drop you off on some random planet. Take it from me, some planets are awful. We had to find these crystals for the ship and nearly died in an earthquake.”</p><p>“I would have been fine,” Catra tries to argue but the scowl from Adora makes her second guess it. “Alright fine, whatever. I just wanted to avoid you guys, but I realized that I’d run out of people to be angry at. Except for myself.”</p><p>“Well, you said you were working on your anger, right?” Adora asks. Catra only nods and her ears lower slightly. “Then, focus on that first. We can work on the dealing with other people together, and now you have Melog to help you be honest since they reveal your emotions to everyone anyway.”</p><p>“They do not reveal all of them!”</p><p>“Oh please,” Adora laughs. “Yes, they do. Speaking of Melog, where did they go?”</p><p> “Oh, they decided to leave me on my own when we got to your door.” Catra’s huff is made cuter when her tail swishes in annoyance and Adora can’t help but laugh. “Although, not having a space creature who apparently glows red when I’m upset and likes to add their opinion in on everything is kind of nice.”</p><p>“Yeah well I don’t need Melog to know what you’re thinking, you’re very obvious.” Adora laughs. “Although, I guess this means I’ll have to get a bigger bed.”</p><p>Catra’s mouth falls open at the statement and looks at Adora with wide eyes. Adora looks at her confused before realizing what she just implied. Her cheeks burst with warmth, the blush burns across her cheeks, and she rubs the back of her neck and stutters, “I mean, well. Just look at it!”</p><p>Adora shoots up, knocking Catra back slightly since her legs were on top and around her hips. Catra stands up as Adora falls back to land on top of her bedsheets with her arms out.</p><p>“See, I take up most of the space. There’s not enough room for you…or Melog.” Adora sits up on her elbows, nervously looking up into Catra’s gaze. Her recovery is not smooth, her heart rate is increasing in speed, and this is an opportunity Catra will <em>not</em> pass up on.</p><p>Adora attempts to explain that Catra doesn’t have to sleep here, but Catra ignores her and simply steps towards the bed slowly, deliberately. Looking down at the blushing blonde, Catra sees the few hairs falling from her haphazard bun, the fall displaces some of the baby hairs that stick to her neck and dance around her cheekbones as a breeze passes through the room. Adora’s eyes are looking up expectantly, unsure and taking in everything about Catra’s body language to try to figure out what’s she thinking.</p><p>Oh, this is just too easy.</p><p>Catra’s ears flatten, her tail swishing side to side, and the smirk that graces her lips makes Adora’s blush spread to her ears.</p><p>“I don’t know, Adora,” Catra leans forward, slowly and teasingly. She places her hands on either side of Adora’s knees as she leans closer to the blonde who lets out an audible gasp. Catra looks side to side and lets out a hum before crawling up onto the bed, her legs bracketing Adora’s hips and as she hovers over the girl. Slowly, mischievously, she lets her lower body collapse onto Adora’s. Holding herself up with her arms, she glances around once more, ignoring the open-mouth shock expression below her to continue the tease. Adora licks her lips and draws her eyebrows together as she realizes what Catra is doing to her. Catra, after fully examining the given space on the girl’s bed looks down at her with a wicked grin. “I think there’s plenty of space.”</p><p>And with that Catra leans down to bring her face a breath away from Adora’s, who freezes in anticipation. Catra leans in close before laughing and rolling to the side so she lays beside Adora. Adora opens her mouth again to complain before she rolls over to hug Catra as she continues to giggle, her tail curling in joy.</p><p>“That was very unkind of you.”</p><p>“Oh, what Adora, having trouble concentrating?”</p><p>“I knew you were doing that on purpose!” Adora pushes Catra back slightly by her shoulders as the feline laughs out loud again. The flirting back on the First One’s ship had done little to help Adora focus and this little demonstration showed that Catra would be continuing to torment Adora. Catra instead turns to lay on her back and wipes away a tear from her eye, taking a breath to calm herself down from her laughing fit. How long had it been since she’d laughed like that?</p><p>“What no comeback Adora?”</p><p>“Whatever, Catra.” Adora’s pout only makes Catra let out another cackle before she looks for Adora’s hand to hold. When the blonde gives it to her, she doesn’t say anything for a few beats. Catra doesn’t take offense to the silence, she’s quite proud she can render the mighty She-Ra literally speechless.</p><p>“What’s the matter Adora? Cat got your tongue?”</p><p>Adora glares at her before turning to face her too and leans in so their foreheads are touching.</p><p>“No, but she does have my heart.” Adora’s honesty silences any snarky comeback on Catra’s lips. Adora kisses Catra’s nose and rolls back on to her back. “And she did sorta save my life today by yelling that she loved me, which pretty much saved all of Etheria.”</p><p>“What are you talking about? When did I yell?” Catra looks over at Adora as she asks.</p><p>“When we were in the heart of Etheria, you yelled at me. It’s what pulled me from Horde Prime’s virus and helped me connect with She-Ra again…”</p><p>Catra shakes her head slightly before sitting up on her side to look down at Adora. “I’m telling you; I didn’t yell.”</p><p>Catra raises her hand to touch Adora’s check gently. “I was crying. The fail safe’s light was fading, the virus was infecting the heart, and you were slipping away. I pulled you closed because…your heartbeat started to fade. I pressed my ear to your chest to try and hear it, but I couldn’t hear it after a while. It just got slower and slower, I told you to stay awake and I think for a moment or two, you were gone.”</p><p>“I was busy having a vision.”</p><p> “A vision?” Adora looks into Catra’s eyes, nodding and taking a deep breath.</p><p>“Before you and Shadow Weaver showed up. I was with Mara and I told her, that her sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain. But she stopped me, she told me I was more than what I could give to people and that I deserved love to. I didn’t realize it then, but that’s when something clicked in my mind because I thought it was Horde Prime who was stopping me from transforming.”</p><p>“Are you saying it wasn’t?”</p><p>“I’m saying it was my own fault. Shadow Weaver, for so long, she convinced me that I had to stay focus on saving Etheria because everyone depended on me. I was confused and distracted and scared.”</p><p>
  <em>Distracts you. Confuses you.</em>
</p><p>“Yeah, I remember her blaming me.”</p><p><em>You’re one to talk</em>.</p><p>Catra reaches for her neck but Adora quickly grabs the hand and kisses it before continuing.</p><p>“But she was wrong Catra. She-Ra is a being of pure magic, she knew that, but what Shadow Weaver didn’t realize was the power of love when it comes to magic. Emotions and magic are connected I mean look at how we got through to all those people who were chipped. Netossa with her wife, Sea Hawk with Mermista, Glimmer and her dad, me to you. Mara, she knew the power love held. She even told me I was ‘so close’ to my destiny, but I listened to Shadow Weaver instead. She kept saying to not lose focus, as if anyone I cared about was only a distraction. Especially when it came to you, Catra.”</p><p>“Yeah, because she hated me.” Catra grumbles but feels guilty almost immediately given Shadow Weaver’s sacrifice.</p><p>“No, I think it’s because she knew my weakness. It’s always been you, Catra. Shadow Weaver knew us better than anyone and she knew that if you were ever in danger, I’d rush back to save you. Every time. She knew a lot about magic, but she thought love hindered my magic instead of strengthening it. Had she’d known, maybe Shadow Weaver would have shown us more love…but you didn’t distract me Catra, you grounded me.”</p><p>“I guess it’s a good thing I stayed with you then.”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess it is.” Adora turns her head to smile over at Catra who returns it. Catra shifts closer and Adora turns to her side so they face one another. Catra reaches up with her hands to cup Adora’s face, bringing their foreheads together. Adora leans into the touch, bringing her arm up to hold Catra’s waist.</p><p>“Were you scared? To die?”</p><p>“I was ready to accept it. If it meant saving you, Bow, Glimmer, and all our friends on Etheria…I’d accept She-Ra’s destiny.”</p><p>“Stop doing that.”</p><p>Adora opens her eyes to look at Catra who looks at her determined, eyebrows drawn in and eyes sharp.</p><p>“You keep speaking as if She-Ra and you aren’t the same person. Yeah, maybe, ya know Shadow Weaver and the First One’s wanted you to believe they were two different people. And that for She-Ra to exist, you somehow had to stop being Adora. But you’ve always been the same person. You don’t have to try and become She-Ra because you already are her Adora, and your destiny is whatever you want it to be.”</p><p>Adora’s eyes go wide as Catra’s words go straight through her chest. When the sword was destroyed, Adora believed she finally could determine her own destiny. But then Horde Prime came, an enemy of She-Ra for nearly one thousand years. Then the rebellion needed to rescue Glimmer, then suddenly She-Ra was back. The battle at the Fright Zone though showed that her connection to her magical self was fractured, cracked at its core because the connection seemed to waver. Then Shadow Weaver told them of the failsafe that only She-Ra could take on. For so long it seemed her destiny was predetermined, written long before she found the sword, and unwavering when it came to denying Adora what she wanted.</p><p>Adora wanted to be of service to her loved ones. Always had, and her responsibility as She-Ra seemed like the perfect way to achieve what she had convinced herself she wanted. It became too much because it demanded Adora sacrificing her own feelings. Her want for Catra, to push back as hard and as much as Catra had done to avoid heartache. For years she’d suppressed her feelings, her love for her best friend because of the demands of cadets in the Horde, of her newfound loyalty to the rebellion, the demands of being She-Ra, and eventually when the world was about to end Adora found the final barrier standing between what she wanted and what she convinced herself she <em>had</em> to do was herself.</p><p>“You’re right. She-Ra is part of me, but she doesn’t control me. I control my own destiny and I choose the love I deserve. I choose you, Catra.” Adora closes her eyes to fight back the tears as the revelation takes its full effect on the rebellion hero. Finally, she could be She-Ra without convincing herself that it demanded sacrifice and withholding her own aspirations. She could defend her home <em>and</em> embrace her own feelings, could have what she’d wanted all along: Catra.</p><p>Catra’s purring starts then, her tail moving to curl around Adora as the taller girl cries softly. Three years of separation, with a war dividing them, made moments like this memorizing. The girls were brought together by the very people who wanted to tear them apart.</p><p>“So…about this vision.”</p><p>Adora sniffles, rubs her eyes with the back of her hand and laughs, “Right. It was about us. You, me, Glimmer, and Bow. We were going to some kind of ball in Scorpia’s kingdom. Glimmer was chasing you because you wouldn’t let her fix your hair, Bow came to find us and as we went to leave you looked at me and asked if was coming. I’m pretty sure, we were uhm, ha, I think we were married.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>The softness in Catra’s voice grips Adora’s heart and she whispers, afraid to break the trance both were falling into.</p><p>“Yeah, I think Glimmer and Bow were married too. You looked beautiful.”</p><p>“What did I look like?”</p><p>“Oh, you know, the usual. You had on that same maroon color you wore to princess prom, a cape, and your hair was long again. Even had your hair in a ponytail. You had on my belt buckle wings, that’s why I think we were married, but you were very beautiful. You <em>are</em> beautiful.”</p><p>Catra’s purring returns and has increased in volume. Adora feels the internal vibration through her arm around Catra’s waist. The blush on Catra’s face is betrayed by the doubt in her eyes.</p><p>“Promise?”</p><p>“I promise.” Adora leans back to look Catra in the eyes. “I promise to always be your friend, to never let anything bad happen to you, and to always bring you home.”</p><p>
  <em>We look out for each other. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we stick together.</em>
</p><p>The promise they made as children plays through Catra’s mind, her hand moving to the base of her neck as she blushes harshly. She looks up to Adora who is the picture of soft contentment.</p><p>“And I promise to always go with you, dummy. You’ve always been my best friend, <em>my </em>Adora. I plan to make good on my word you hear?”</p><p>Adora laughs, “Did you just claim me?”</p><p>“Shut up! You’re the one who basically proposed with your weird virus hallucination!”</p><p>Adora seizes the moment then to kiss Catra fully, gripping her cheeks softly to hold her in. Catra squeaks but returns the kiss. Expressing all the affection she had to hold back after Adora left for the rebellion. Ever since they were kids, Catra’s cared about Adora, but not until she was alone in space did she realize how deeply her affection ran for her best friend. Their fight with Horde Prime had tested her own feelings but had in turn revealed how strong they were returned. Even if it had been only a vision, Catra knew finally what it was Adora wanted, and dammit if she wasn’t going to have deal with a smug Melog later because of it.</p><p>Adora continues kissing Catra, over and over again while she pulls her impossibly closer and feels the purring as much as hears it. So much wasted time. So many memories that were tainted with hatred and unresolved feelings had defined her memoires with Catra. Instead Adora wanted to fill her head with memories with Catra that were like this. Soft, simple. To make sure Catra never questioned her feelings again. To make sure she never felt abandoned again. As long as Catra wanted her, she would stay by her side.</p><p>A yawn escapes Adora and Catra can’t help the loud laugh that pushes through her lips.</p><p>“Am I boring you darling?</p><p>“Ha darling? Where’d you get that?”</p><p>“Do you like it? It’s what Spinerella calls her wife. You know, the one who sprayed water in my face and tossed me into a net.” Catra sits up to look down at Adora, ears forward in anticipation. “Scorpia gave me a nick name and I have one for Bow and Glimmer, so I just thought—”</p><p>“I love it.” Adora’s answer interrupts the stammering cat, but is followed by another yawn, she stretches on her back and sinks farther into the blankets. Adora reaches for Catra’s arm and when the girl looks into her eyes, Adora gives a sleepy grin. “Stay?”</p><p>
  <em>So, please, just this once.</em>
</p><p>Catra nods quickly and Adora beams up at her. She sits up and places a chaste kiss on Catra’s cheek before jumping off the bed to change out of her pants and shirt. Catra sits there and touches her cheek before smiling and following Adora.</p><p>
  <em>Stay!</em>
</p><p>Catra comes up behind as Adora approaches a large dresser, she pulls out two tank tops and two pairs of shorts for the girls to wear to bed.</p><p>“Oh, so you <em>do</em> have other clothes, you just choose to wear this old uniform?”</p><p>Adora takes off her shirt and her hair falls from its bun as she does. Catra smirks at her snarky comment and Adora only sticks her tongue out. She throws her shirt at Catra as both girls laugh. “Shut up!”</p><p> Turning back towards the dresser Adora freezes as she feels Catra’s hand at her hip.</p><p>“Catra?”</p><p>Instead of a verbal response, Adora feels Catra get closer to her. With one hand on her hip, the other moves Adora’s hair to the side and suddenly the room is <em>much</em> warmer. Adora waits anxiously but Catra leans in to kiss her shoulder blade, tenderly and repeats the action a few more times. Adora doesn’t have to ask what it is she’s kissing; she’d seen the scratch marks from their fight on Prime’s ship already.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Scars fade, wounds heal, but I never would have recovered if I’d lost you, Catra.”</p><p>
  <em>I’m always going to be your friend.</em>
</p><p>Catra runs her fingertips across them, her nails sending shockwaves through Adora’s heightened senses and she kisses Adora’s scratch marks one more before grabbing the tank top and shorts from Adora. Though Catra doesn’t see, Adora takes a deep breath and looks at her red face in the mirror on the adjacent wall. Her and Catra had changed together before Both, a lot actually. But something had shifted, the intimacy unmistakable. Catra didn't seemed fazed but Adora took a deep breath before she pulls the tank top on. Both girls change quickly and make their way back to the bed. Adora grabs a few extra pillows from the floor and pulls back the covers before crawling into the small bed. Catra stands at the foot, waiting for Adora to get comfortable so she can curl up in the leftover space.</p><p>“Hey Catra?”</p><p>“Hey, Adora.” Catra throws back her cocky greeting. But tilts her head to the side when Adora looks at her with an odd look.</p><p>“Why don’t you lay up here with me? Not like anyone is around to say anything.”</p><p>Catra smiles and walks around the bed to lay beside Adora, pulling the blankets over them both. Catra faces Adora, but quickly flips over when Adora is giving her a cocky grin. The grin eerily like the one she’d given her when Catra jumped into the fire. Adora lets out her goofy laugh when the smaller girl flips over in a huff to have her back to her. Catra’s tail comes up to flick Adora’s nose, “Shut up.”</p><p>Adora notices then, a small scar where Catra’s chip had once been embedded in her skin. Adora moves closer, placing a hand on Catra’s hip, gently pulling her to her. Catra concedes, sliding to be flat against Adora’s front. However, she stiffens when Adora sits up slightly to place her hand at the base of her neck. Adora returns the affectionate gesture from earlier, she leans down to kiss the scar and Catra shivers at the sensation. Adora slides back down, Catra flipping again to face her girlfriend.</p><p>Is that what they were? Or were they more? Whatever, that would be a conversation for another time. Lots of talks to be had now that their destines were intertwined together.</p><p>“Catra?”</p><p>She looks up at Adora before making a bold decision. Catra grabs Adora’s chin and brings down the hero’s lips to her own. The kiss isn’t hesitant like earlier, the intention behind it obvious. Adora hums slightly and pulls Catra closer by her waist, her other hand going to Catra’s neck. With one, two more kisses Catra snuggles down into the crook of Adora’s neck, she brings her legs up slightly and curls into the warm body beside her with her tail wrapping around Adora’s waist.</p><p>“This isn’t because I like you.” Catra whispers into Adora’s chest, the blonde laughs and sinks into the pillow.</p><p>A yawn escapes her as she replies, “It totally is.”</p><p>“No,” Catra insists, though she yawns too. Kissing the underside of Adora’s jaw, she mumbles.</p><p>“It’s because I love you.”</p><p>~</p><p>Thank you for reading! Let me know if you want more, because I'm a sucker for these two!</p>
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